Daniel
by SFGrl
Summary: Chandler & Monica consider what has happened to them in 9.21. A vignette. complete


**AN: Okay, this is just a thing I was thinking of the other day, when I clearly had run out of real, important things to think about…or whatever.  Anyway, it's just a thing to go with Episode 9.21, so if you haven't seen it, um, well…don't read this, lol.**

**Now, it's been a couple of weeks, and I honestly can't remember how long ****Chandler**** had been off of the phone with the clinic before Monica walked in (in fact, wasn't he hanging up the phone when she walked in?  Ah, whatever).  In my universe, it was…well, it was as long as I deem it to be, because I'm the writer here, lol.**

**Also, just as an aside, um, you all must go see _Down With Love_—go, go now!  lol.**

****

**_Daniel_**

****

His fingers nervously traced the pattern on the blanket below him, as he leaned heavily on the back of the sofa.  Monica kept telling him to stop sitting on the back of the sofa, and yet he kept doing it.  He sighed heavily, his heart aching as the image of his wife's porcelain face flooded his mind.  

She was going to be devastated.

Not that he wasn't—he was more than devastated.  The news that he and Monica were incompatible, it was too—

It was too everything.  Too hard, too awful, too…

Too much.

Incompatible—how could they be incompatible?  They were Chandler and Monica, Monica and Chandler!  They loved each other, and they were ready for this!

He closed his eyes, and for the briefest moment, he saw the future that he and Monica had so carefully laid out for themselves (her idea) in the years to come.

Their first child would be a boy, Monica kept saying, so that he could protect his little sister.  Chandler added that they should have twin girls after that, and Monica would smile patronizingly, and Chandler knew that she was thinking that he was crazy if he thought she was pushing out two babies in one day.

Sometimes, late at night, when all of their friends had gone home, and their apartment was as quiet as a New York apartment could get, Monica would look at him lovingly, caress his cheek, and say things that made his heart race with nervous anticipation.

"He's gonna have your eyes," she would whisper.

It always made him smile, this image they had conjured up of a little baby boy, with his eyes, and her smile.  Their son would have his disposition, and her raven hair.  He would have his mother's meticulous attention to detail, and his father's sly wit.

His name would be Daniel, and he would be loved more than anything.

A single tear slid down Chandler's cheek, and he wiped it away irritably.  He would not cry over this, because there was nothing to cry over.  They would get through this, just like they always had.  No matter what their doctor thought, deep down, Chandler knew that they would have the family they wanted—the family they had planned for.

In his heart, he knew all of this, but his head was screaming; it was simultaneously analyzing the data he'd received, and figuring out a way to tell Monica the news.

His head kept telling him everything his heart refused to hear—they could keep trying, but there was a chance that this may never happen for them.

A chance.  A slight chance.  No, a very real, very big chance.

*

Monica lay in bed, her eyes wide open, her heart hurting.  An inhospitable environment?  Just what the hell did that mean?  She was a very hospitable person!  She was always the hostess!

She sighed heavily, and turned over on her side.  Chandler's back was to her, and she could see by his uneven breathing that he was awake too.  She studied his back for a moment, and let her mind wander as she studied the crevices and curves created by his spine and shoulder blades.  She hated that this was happening…and hated that it was so out of her control.  She lightly ran her finger over his right shoulder, and he started, then turned to face her.

"Couldn't sleep either?" Chandler smiled sadly, and wrapped his arms tightly around her.

She buried her head in his chest, and let out a ragged breath as a reply.

"I'm so sorry," Chandler whispered.

Monica was silent for a long moment, and Chandler tightened his embrace.  After another moment, she pulled away slightly, and looked up at Chandler.

"I see Daniel's face, everytime I close my eyes.  And he used to seem so real to me, but now…now it's like he—he's fading away.  I hate this!  How is this fair?  I've wanted children my whole life, and—"her voice hitched, and she buried her face in Chandler's shoulder again.

Chandler said nothing; he just rubbed her back soothingly, and let her cry.

Eventually, inevitably, she did, and she pulled away again, and looked up at Chandler's pained expression.

In that moment, she saw in his eyes all of her pain, all of her doubts, and all that she needed.  He was here, and always would be, and together, they would get through this. 

She saw in his eyes a determination more profound than the one he'd worn on their red-letter days; the night he proposed, and the day they were married.  She could see that he was willing to do anything for her, and it filled her heart.

Suddenly, it didn't feel so hopeless.  It was an obstacle—perhaps the first true obstacle of their young marriage—but it was one they would overcome together.

And Daniel would wait for them.

_Daniel is travelling tonight on a plane_

_I can see the red tail lights heading for __Spain___

_Oh and I can see Daniel waving goodbye_

_God it looks like Daniel, must be the clouds in my eyes_

_They say __Spain__ is pretty though I've never been_

_Well Daniel says it's the best place that he's ever seen_

_Oh and he should know, he's been there enough_

_Lord I miss Daniel, oh I miss him so much_

_Daniel my brother you are older than me_

_Do you still feel the pain of the scars that won't heal_

_Your eyes have died but you see more than I_

_Daniel you're a star in the face of the sky_

_Daniel is travelling tonight on a plane_

_I can see the red tail lights heading for __Spain___

_Oh and I can see Daniel waving goodbye_

_God it looks like Daniel, must be the clouds in my eyes_

_Oh God it looks like Daniel, must be the clouds in my eyes_

_('Daniel' by Elton John)_


End file.
